So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
my liver is dry heaving
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
