Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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