id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
