I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
