Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize