Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
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