Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
