Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Randomize
