how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Every concussion has its silver lining
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
