My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
