She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize