I got chris browned last night
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
