hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
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