I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
