Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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