yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
