my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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