he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
