The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
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