I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
do herpes really smell.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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