Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
