She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
