Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
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Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Pooping to opera.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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