that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
