I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
