then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
