Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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