I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We're too hungover to prance.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
