I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people