So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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