we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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