their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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