They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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