Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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