I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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