I swear she didn't look like that last week.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
