Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
