Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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