next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize