Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
