i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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