she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
