mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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