A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's blow job season.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
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