I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
