I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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