Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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