After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Found the puke drawer
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
