I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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