I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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