Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
