I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
