Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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