Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
