He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
