We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
