morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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