Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
