my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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