i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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