that's an acceptable place to lick
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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