i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
