im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
