Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
