Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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