i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
